Happy Being Miserable

There comes a time in your life when you reach your limits with certain people. You’ve tried to help them by being there for them, but they seem to find more comfort in their perpetual misery as they lurch from one disaster to the next. You’ve suggested they get professional help, but they don’t seem to hear you.

Sometimes you have to let go. They will accuse you of abandoning them, but there are only so many times that you can listen to the same old beginning, middle and end to the same old repertoire of stories.  Nothing changes for them because they don’t want to change. They prefer to blame other people, places, things and circumstances instead of taking responsibility for the direction of their lives.

Finally, you realise there is no point trying to fight their demons any longer. You are not giving up on them when you let go. You are defining your personal boundaries. When you do define them, most people will try to tell you that you’re being mean, or negative, or judgmental, or critical, but it’s their defence mechanism trying to protect their emotional position because they don’t want to admit that they have pushed you too far for too long. They won’t change their behaviour, so their inability to set their own boundaries forces you to set yours, body, soul and spirit.  Give yourself a pat on the back when you do.

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