You Can’t Fake It

A popular catchphrase in the spiritual and personal development movement is ‘to be true to you.’  This phrase sells a lot of books, but it is one thing to read about ‘being true to you’ and another to actually do it.   ‘Being true to you’ is not easy if you have a low opinion of yourself.   It is not natural to ‘be true to you’ when you do not have a healthy opinion of yourself.

The benefits of living your truth are almost magical. The return on your investment in ‘being true to you’ is worth your time, energy and focus. You can stand up for yourself. You can speak your truth. You live your truth because you honour your truth. You can discern the truth from a lie or an illusion, and as a result, you can tell the difference between your ego and the voice of your intuition that speaks to you from the wisdom in your soul. You live your truth from the inside out.

For every yin there is a yang and for every yang there is a yin.  There are drawbacks to ‘being true to you,’ so the challenge to be true to the self is compounded if your self-opinion is low. You will lose most of your current friends if you decide you are going to be true to you.  Most of them will not approve of what you are doing or saying in order to express your truth.  They will mock your efforts. They will ridicule you and they will be jealous of your courage to love, honour and commit to your truth. They will be consumed with envy as they watch you enjoy the fruits of being true. They will not approve of what you are doing, and in fact, they will try to sabotage you. They will probably leave you, but you will make new friends who are more in line with your truth.

If other people’s opinions are more important to you than your opinion, or you are an incurable people pleaser, or you avoid confrontation at the cost of your happiness, then being true to yourself is not for you until you move past being preoccupied with what others think of you and what you do. When you increase your opinion of you and you raise your self-regard, it will make up for the decrease in other people’s opinions of you, or their disregard for you.  You will be less concerned about judgments, gossip, opinions and criticism coming from others.

The way to make it easier for you to be true to you is to increase your self- opinion.  This will raise your self-regard, and when you have a higher self-regard, you will be less affected by other people’s opinions.  A self-opinion that is too high indicates a narcissistic or overbearing personality. A self-opinion that is too low aligns itself with victim mentality.  The capacity to be true to you is relative to the level of your self-regard. You can’t fake a healthy self-opinion. It’s not too high and it’s not too low. It’s just right for you, but you have to work on it. You will sabotage yourself or others will sabotage you when you try to be true to yourself BEFORE you have developed a strong self-regard. Before you try being true to you, work on ways to increase your self-opinion if you think and feel it is too low.  ‘Being true to you’ comes naturally when you have a healthy self-regard, and so acceptance or approval from others is no longer a prerequisite.

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