You have the ability to generate grace. It starts with appreciation. When life throws challenges your way, they don’t arrive alone; they come with choice. No matter what happens, you always have the freedom to choose your attitude and response. You might not see it in the moment, especially if the experience was painful, but with time and reflection (and sometimes professional support), you may recognise the strength of character it helped you develop. That’s where gratitude comes in, and gratitude is the foundation of grace.

Every experience shapes you. Every thought, every emotion, every person you’ve met (or haven’t met), every place you’ve been (or haven’t been), every choice you’ve made (or didn’t make), all of it has shaped who you are today. If you take a step back and appreciate these influences, you may feel humbled and grateful for them. Or not.

When you’re not grateful, resentment, anger, or bitterness can take hold. Holding onto these emotions for years creates emotional clutter, much like a clogged drain. Just like blocked pipes cause backups, stuck emotions can block the natural flow of life. This isn’t about avoiding negativity altogether. Feeling sad, angry, or frustrated is natural. But choosing to dwell in those emotions long-term can start affecting your relationships, work, creativity, and overall well-being.

Think about how waking up in a bad mood can throw off your whole day. Now imagine feeling stuck in resentment or grief for years—it won’t just affect your mood; it will ripple into every aspect of your life.

This is one reason why certain projects, relationships, or goals don’t seem to work out. When emotional buildup from the past is still overflowing into the present, it’s hard to create new, fulfilling experiences. Imagine trying to build a house on a flooded foundation—you have to clear the floodwaters before you can start fresh.

Grace is like spiritual muscle. It strengthens over time, just like physical muscle does at the gym. Think of challenges as weights, and each difficult experience as a training session for your soul. Weightlifters often have spotters, someone to help them push a little further each time. In the same way, life’s struggles act as spiritual spotters, encouraging you to build resilience, wisdom, and patience.

Next time you catch yourself replaying a painful experience, pause and look for the strength it gave you. Did it teach you patience? Courage? Self-awareness? The people and events that challenged you most may have been the very forces that shaped your inner strength.

It’s about finding your place in the bigger picture. When you fully appreciate your personal history, and not just the good moments, but the difficult ones too, then you begin to recognise your place in the universe. Everything you’ve been through, everything that shaped you, has led to this moment. You are not an accident; you are part of something bigger.

And when you accept this truth, grace isn’t something you search for, it’s something you create.