The Number #1 Behaviour Every Mother Can’t Afford to Ignore

As a mother of three adult children, I think it is fair to say that all mothers are working mothers. At different times, my mothering career has involved working inside the home, caring for and rearing my children full-time, to juggling this with work outside the home as a small business teacher and mentor, and working as a spiritual development counsellor from an office at home. Most of my career as a mother has been as a single parent.  My children thrived in this environment. But it wasn’t easy at first. It was tough. There were many days when I did not want to get out of bed. Then there were days when I dragged myself out. It got worse. There were days when I could barely get out of bed. Those were the days when I went back to bed. There were days when I stayed there.

For many mothers, being a working mother is a 24 hour role, 7 days a week, 52 weeks of the year. I found out the hard way that if I did not make time for me, then everyone in my family suffered, and everything in my life went wrong as a result. I was always busy. I was so busy I was frantic. I was so frantic for so long that I became exhausted. Then I became exhausted for so long that I developed chronic fatigue and depression. I was incapable of caring for my children because I had not looked after myself. I had run myself into the ground by putting everyone else first and me last. The medical profession had no solutions for me, other than to tell me to take these pills, go home and get plenty of rest. But pills and rest were not enough.

I had practiced yoga in my teens and throughout my 20’s but as life became more and more overwhelmingly hectic with work and children, my practice had almost disappeared. I knew that if I had kept up my yoga practice I may not have found myself in such a weak and dis-empowered state. But there was no point wasting time on should-haves and could-haves and what-ifs and if-onlys.

Although I did not have the physical energy to do the postures at the time, I figured there was nothing to stop me using my mind. Due to the enforced rest, I had a lot of time on my hands. And without regular work, I did not have a lot of money. I had to find answers fast. My health was suffering and so was my bank account. If this scenario continued, I was concerned about my ability to pay the mortgage on  my house. My physical survival was at risk.

My intuition led me to back to my yoga roots. I decided to research the philosophy of yoga. I wanted to know more about the chakras of the human energy system. Looking back on the situation, I realise that my instincts to survive and thrive were urging me to look for clues to regain my energy. The chakra system is an ancient model that corresponds to various points of power within the human body. It is used by yogis, spiritual aspirants and contemporary mystics as a map to develop and balance the spirit for the purpose of enlightenment, deeper meaning and fulfillment in life. I knew that according to the chakra system, the human spirit represents the life force. It keeps us alive. When we are full of the life force, we are full of energy, so our bodies are fit and healthy. We are emotionally stable, mentally strong and spiritually fulfilled. I needed my spirit to come back to me. I need my life force to come back into my body and into the present time. I wanted to have more energy inside my body than out of it.

I discovered many factors contributing to my chronic fatigue and depression. It was beginning to make sense to me that a depletion of energy in the body could possibly be one more factor influencing illnesses such as cancer, stroke or heart attack too. After six months of implementing what I found, my energy levels returned. I concluded that the number #1 behaviour I had been avoiding was adequate self-care. I had to teach myself how to mother myself as well as I had mothered my three children up until now. There seemed to be so much to do for me. I had let my health get out of control. I was overwhelmed at how much I had to do to retrieve my energy. I was exhausted just thinking about it.  I began to break it down into smaller and smaller pieces so that I could approach the recovery of my spirit one step at a time. Here’s how I did it. I continue to do it today:

I imagine that I have more than one body. I have a physical body, an emotional body, a mental body and a spiritual body. Each body has seven limbs. Here they are:

  1. Self-nurture
  2. Self-satisfaction
  3. Self-sufficiency
  4. Self-acceptance
  5. Self-expression
  6. Self-understanding
  7. Self-empowerment

I began to focus on one body at a time and one limb at a time. Even though my weakest body was my physical body, I decided to concentrate on my spiritual body and self-nurture. I began to concentrate on my spiritual body because my chakra research revealed that one of the fastest way to lift our energy levels is to retrieve our spirit, especially if pills and rest are not producing a change for the better. We need to call our spirit back home, into the body and into present time.  I found this to be true. Retrieving my spirit strengthened most of my other limbs without too much effort. My power increased when my spirit returned.

I was thrilled to be back in charge of my energy and my life again. I was so inspired I began to create a check list to monitor the energy of the entire chakra system, now known as the Life Balance Profile System. I designed the Life Balance Profile System as a tool to be used on a regular basis. I realised that once my energy returned, if I forgot to supervise my spirit on a regular basis, then my energy levels dropped at exorbitant speed, and I was feeling out of control of my health, my children and my relationship with them, my work and finances once again.

Nearly 20 years later, after I have had the privilege of guiding thousands of women to use the Life Balance Profile System to regain their vitality and lust for life, I am satifisfied to say that I have captured this process in my book, A Question of Balance – Colour, Energy and Healing with Chakras. I can email a complimentary copy to you if you would like to learn more about it.

I had to know how to feel less stressed, anxious and depressed. My children depended on me. I needed to know how it felt to be full of energy and back in control of my health, relationships, work and money.  I was so energised and inspired when I regained my energy, I couldn’t help myself. I had to share it. I had to teach others how to regain their vitality and a better life balance.

My children, my relationships and my family have all gained from the experience.  I went from having no energy to being so full of life that it overflowed. I have so much to share because I put self-care first. All the time. The people who are important to me are happier as a result of my self-care. I am back in control of my unique life balance. I stay that way as I continue to profile the position of my physical, emotional, mental and spiritual health with a tool I can use for the rest of my life.