Very few can say that they have never been shown or taught how to overcome their problems. Every person who has ever been in your life has been a role model for you, demonstrating what to do or not do.
Some children have watched their parents make the same mistakes over and over again. This teaches them two things. It teaches them not to make the same mistake, or it teaches them that this is normal behaviour, so it remains unquestioned and eventually emulated by the child.
A mean, critical or cruel parent will teach their children two things. These types of parents are role models that teach their children how to be mean, critical or cruel. This behaviour can also teach children not to be mean, critical or cruel. Instead, it makes some children very determined not to behave like that parent. It teaches them how to be softer, kinder or more compassionate.
If you think that you have never been shown how to behave, or you have never had any help to solve your problems, then look again. It may not have been the kind of help you wanted, but it was the type of help you received.
Today’s “no” may be tomorrow’s “yes”. Sometimes getting no apparent help is the ideal helper. It’s a very hard way to learn some of life lessons, but it may be the only way to bring out the best in you.
Gail Goodwin 