Suffering doesn’t always stem from the situation itself. I’ve found that it’s often born from the meaning I attach to it. That meaning is shaped by your thoughts, beliefs, and interpretations. To soften that grip, you need spaciousness: a gap between emotional reactivity and objective reality. More often than not, when you pause and ask, “Other than what I’m thinking and believing, am I okay?”,¹ the answer is yes. I know that seems like I’m being dismissive of emotions but stay with me.

When you’re overwhelmed by intense thoughts and feelings, your inner narrative (the judgments, assumptions, fears, and interpretations you’re projecting onto a moment) feels true. But it isn’t the whole truth. That narrative is shaped by your archetypes, which are facets of your personality. But you are not your personality. You have one and it’s ego-driven. You also have a Self that remains untouched, whole, and sacred. That Sacred Self at the centre of your soul is animated by your spirit.

Asking “Other than what I’m thinking and believing, am I okay?” invites you into the energy of your Sacred Self. It calls you to check in with your immediate state, physically and emotionally once the swirl of thoughts is temporarily set aside. This question opens the door to clarity where perspective, and even transformation, can begin.

But.

Not without going through the motion of emotion first.

Before any shift in perspective becomes possible, your emotions need to be honoured, expressed, and moved through. Going through the motion of emotion is an act of emotional integrity. It bridges the gap between how you feel and the freedom of how you think. Once the energy is acknowledged and given space, your system begins to settle. You stop reacting. You start witnessing. Now you’re ready to shift.

This emotional movement helps disentangle genuine pain from the archetypal story driving it. Fear, anger, sadness. These are human. Suffering often arises from what those emotions seem to mean. Releasing the story allows you to return to presence. From there, you can rest in the sanctuary of your soul and reconnect with your Sacred Self. The drama of the mind quiets, and what’s true right now becomes visible. Your inner wisdom emerges. You’re free to ask: Is there another way to see this? What else could be true?

That’s how you move from narrative to neutrality. From ego to essence. From suffering to spaciousness.

Let’s say someone hasn’t replied to your message. The ego begins to spiral, activating an undeveloped part of the Child archetype. You think to yourself: “They’re ignoring me. I’m not important.” Emotional waves rise, feelings of abandonment, rejection, or being invisible. Rather than bypass these sensations, you go through the motion of emotion. You allow yourself to feel the ache, the tenderness, the longing, all without judgment. This moment becomes an invitation to nurture your Child archetype, to offer it what it’s been seeking: reassurance, presence, and care.

Then, with compassion, you pause and ask: “Other than what I’m thinking and believing right now, am I okay?” You notice: “I’m safe. I’m breathing. Nothing is actually hurting me.” Yes, the Child within you feels triggered, but your Sacred Self remains steady and spacious.

This simple pause helps you to step out of the archetypal story that’s been fed by your ego. It gently guides you back to the peace of the present moment, where clarity, truth, and perspective can emerge.

Asking “Other than what I’m thinking and believing right now, am I okay?” helps to unlock a sense of clarity. It reveals where suffering lives: in your unexamined thoughts that are often feed by archetypes. And it reminds you of what’s available beyond them.

1. This question is often used in mindfulness training and The Work of Byron Katie. ↩︎