The spirit of every woman breaks a little more each time one of us chooses to act on the pressure from society to look 21 forever.

Trying to look 21 for the rest of your life might just be a cry for help. Men are allowed to age in peace. Women are not. Society—the entertainment industry and social media—not only expect, but demand that women look 21 for the rest of their lives. Apparently, an aging face and body hurts the viewers’ eyes. And if they don’t get a new improved view, then audiences, fans, followers and the media troll them with abuse for choosing to age naturally. Jameela Jamil is right. Beauty standards for women are obscene. 

“I think that men are allowed to age in a way that is so peaceful compared to us, and I would love for that to be the case for women as well, you know? This isn’t an attack on men — it’s advocacy for women.”

Jameela Jamil

By allowing themselves to be coerced by society into modifying their facial features to look younger simply demonstrates that the mindset of women is still largely compliant. Sharing the housework, parenting and the mental load might be happening more often these days, but it seems that women are largely compliant when it comes to their face and body. They tell the world they feel better because they look younger, which in turn protects them from harsh judgement and criticism.

But.

It’s our archetypes that feel better. It’s our archetypes that are speaking, thinking, feeling and acting on behalf of our real Self, which is sacred. It’s our archetypes leading our thoughts, emotions and behaviours. Whereas, we are all meant to lead from our Self.¹ Our Sacred Self rests safe and undamaged at the centre of our soul around which our personal archetypes are grouped. 

Women feel better looking 21 forever because they have given in to their archetypes and done what they’ve convinced them to do. If they don’t follow the will of their archetypes, their archetypes will chime in with the rest of society and remind them about how looking their age won’t do them any favours, financially, mentally or emotionally. And while the Sacred Self in a person doesn’t judge their archetypes for giving in to society’s demands, by letting our archetypes lead us, rather than our Sacred Self taking the lead, we obstruct our ability to integrate and individuate. Both of which are necessary if we want to be mentally, emotionally and spiritually healthy as we grow older. By this I mean we’re unable to absorb the wisdom of our archetypes because we are encouraging them to comply with group think when we give into unrealistic and unhealthy social demands.

All of this conveys a cry for help. Help to ensoul our life with our spirit by connecting to our one true, authentic, real and Sacred Self. Despite their faults, shortcomings and flaws, once you acknowledge the energy the Sacred Self in each of your archetypes, (and the Sacred Self in everyone) that recognition activates their highest potentials. All of which are there for just one purpose—healing. Healing your spirit. 

Ensouling your life heals your spirit. Treating the Sacred Self in everyone well—including your archetypes— will maintain a healthy spirit. Yours and theirs. It fuels your body and soul. And theirs. Doing the opposite depletes your spirit and the spirit of your archetypes. And since spirit is the force of life that connects us to one another, doing the opposite also depletes the spirit in others. 

The spirit of every woman breaks a little more each time one of us chooses to act on the pressure from society to look 21 forever.

Ensouling encourages qualities like inner peace, kindness, courage, curiosity, compassion and quiet strength to your life. And you’re modelling this for others. Ensouling your life begins when you enter the energy of your Sacred Self, and you function from there. Especially when it comes to making decisions about your physical body. Of course, most of us don’t function from there permanently because life also happens outside our inner world. However, we can visit the experience of our Sacred Self at any time.

A deep, felt sense of courage and compassion in our heart grants us access to our soul and takes us into the core of our Sacred Self. The more we visit, the easier it gets to enter and dwell longer each time. Ensoulment happens deep within the core of our soul thinking space, when you pause, relax, and rest in the energy of your Sacred Self.

1. According to Dr Richard Schwartz and Internal Family Systems Institute research ↩︎