A life that includes fulfillment is not a matter of being positive. It’s about being negative and positive in equal measure. Embracing negativity ensures a balanced approach to managing life’s difficulties and challenges. It leads to a deeper sense of meaning and fulfilment than positivity alone. A positive outlook is beyond not enough. It’s often too much.

Too much of anything is not a good thing. Loading up on positivity without adding an equal measure of negativity is toxic. It’s basic alchemy. When elements in opposition are brought together and unified, transformation begins. Positive and negative forces coalesce because of a third, catalytic agent. That catalyst is your spirit.

A balanced perspective acknowledges discomfort and uncertainty. You recognise and learn to tolerate the downsides of life as essential for meaning, purpose and fulfilment. Instead of pursuing fulfilment, meaning and purpose through pleasure, success, and positive thinking, a balanced perspective focuses on acknowledging and accepting that the dark side of life actually exists. I’m talking about the challenging aspects of life, such as pain, suffering, discomfort, fear, and failure. 

The problem with focusing on the positives alone becomes an issue of projection. You attribute your unpleasant feelings, thoughts, or traits onto others, usually as a defense mechanism. If you don’t own your negativity then you end up projecting it onto others. In effect you are offloading the burden of your negativity onto others to carry for you. 

For example, if you feel insecure about your own abilities, you might accuse others of being incompetent as a way to deny your own inadequacies, or as a way to deflect attention away from your fears or insecurities. This helps you to avoid confronting uncomfortable emotions or thoughts by deflecting and projecting them onto others. Projection depletes the catalytic spirit of both the projector and the receiver. Like I said, loading up on positivity dumps your negativity on to others. It does not serve anyone’s spirit. 

Learning to come to terms with the fact that life has its downsides reduces everyone’s pain, discomfort and suffering. Acknowledge the worst-case scenarios. Be aware of the potholes on the road to your goals. Hone-in on your pain points. Train yourself to sit mindfully with discomfort. Then watch what happens.

A balanced perspective allows genuine transformation to take place. Authentic meaning, purpose and fulfilment are byproducts of embracing life in its entirety. When you own your negativity first, your spirit is then free to embrace positivity without obstruction.