One of the biggest pitfalls of perfectionism is that it sets you up to take everything personally. Self-judgment, criticism, and the opinions of others seem to conspire, ensuring that you internalise negativity. Instead of staying objective, you take the bait, shifting into self-doubt and insecurity.

I know this struggle firsthand. But I also know the relief and sense of personal freedom that come from choosing not to react that way.

Some people feel intimidated by success: yours, theirs, or anyone’s. They search relentlessly for flaws, determined to find something—anything—to discredit you. They want you to take their fault-finding personally. They want to disempower you. They want to strip your confidence bare with insults and condemnation. But here’s what I’ve learned: you don’t have to let them.

You have to come to terms with the fact that taking things personally is a choice. It’s one you make only after hearing the criticism. If someone’s words are true, then you have the opportunity to acknowledge and adjust. If their words are not true, and yet you still choose to take them personally, you’ve just given them exactly what they wanted: control over your emotions.

The solution is to make a firm decision. Decide right now that you will not take things personally.

✔ Stand by that decision.
✔ Do not waver.
✔ Say “NO” to taking things personally.

Here’s how to reinforce your commitment:

1. Write “NO” on a post-it note.
2. Stick it to your forehead.
3. Look at yourself in the mirror.
4. Laugh at the absurdity of it all.

Because honestly, it’s absurd how much power we give to meaningless criticism. You have to stop feeding the parasites. When you allow negativity to eat away at your peace, you are feeding the people who thrive on disempowerment.

Stop nourishing their influence.
Starve their toxicity.
Force them to search elsewhere for a reaction.

I am happiest when I refuse to take things personally. And even more liberating? Choosing not to take myself personally either. Because life flows more freely when you release the weight of unnecessary self-judgment.