If you’re feeling stuck, it’s hard work just thinking about how you’ll coax yourself into doing The Thing. But before you can actually do it, you need to get your mind into a state of being. This is so that you become who you need to be in order to do The Thing you want.

The scientific, neurological evidence is well and truly in. According to neuroscientist, L Feldman Barrett, and the theory of constructed emotion, it all starts in your head. Then it overflows through to your emotions and into your behaviour. You can imagine then, the feedback loop this sets in place, when you take into account the mind body connection.

Being stuck in a rut can become a habit. Habits work like a spell you’ve cast over yourself. Only you can break the spell. Habits are hard to break because the repetition reinforces thinking. Unless you crack it by changing your thinking.

So, if you’re feeling stuck, then you don’t need to bully yourself into action. All you need to do is change your mind. And do something else. Yes, don’t do The Thing you want to do. At least not yet. Do something else instead. Why? Because physical movement can shift your thinking. New or different movement produces new or different thoughts that can shift your behaviour.

Here’s how to do it

First, you’re going to set your mind on being who you need to be. Next, you’ll do something else. Then you can attempt to do the thing you want to do. Three steps.

Because we’re dealing with a loop here, we need to break into it by pointing your focus in a new direction.

To start changing your mind, decide on who you need to be so you can do The Thing you eventually want to do. Who do you need to be? Choose one from the list below:

Things to Be (this is a long list)

1. Be pro-active
2. Be decisive
3. Be more responsible
4. Be less responsible
5. Be aware of personal boundaries
6. Be pleased with myself
7. Be congruent
8. Be organised
9. Be lenient
10. Be more practical
11. Be light-hearted
12. Be more aware
13. Be questioning
14. Be accepting
15. Be resilient
16. Be graceful
17. Be determined
18. Be conscious
19. Be prepared
20. Be assertive
21. Be imaginative
22. Be flexible
23. Be joyful
24. Be empowering
25. Be discerning
26. Be mindful
27. Be truthful
28. Be inclusive
29. Be creative
30. Be self sufficient
31. Be quiet
32. Be courageous
33. Be humble
34. Be aware of intentions
35. Be grateful
36. Be diplomatic
37. Be open-minded
38. Be understanding
39. Be compassionate
40. Be exclusive
41. Be fun loving
42. Be respectful
43. Be objective
44. Be motivating
45. Be intimate
46. Be sensual
47. Be inspiring
48. Be companionable
49. Be independent
50. Be not afraid
51. Be ethical
52. Be generous
53. Be sharing
54. Be receiving
55. Be comforting
56. Be humorous
57. Be content
58. Be guided
59. Be forgiving
60. Be alert
61. Add your own here.

Now, go and do something else. Choose something else to do from the following list. But. Yes, there’s a but, although it’s not a biggie. If you hold onto any expectations about what might transpire after you’ve done something else then that energy will stop you from being who you need to be. While you’re doing something else, you need to concentrate on being who you need to be.

Something Else to Do (this is a very long list)

1. Get a health and fitness check
2. Seek dietary assessments and modifications
3. Get a massage
4. Learn relaxation techniques
5. Use bio-feedback therapy such as kinesiology
6. T’ai Chi
7. Hatha yoga
8. Exercise in nature or outside
9. Aerobic activity such as walking or running
10. Participate in competition sport
11. Participate in group gym classes
12. Try rock climbing
13. Go caving
14. Weight train for inner and outer strength
15. Use boundary work and therapy
16. Seek primary pleasures
17. Learn martial arts
18. Use humour
19. Art, music, sound,dance or movement therapy
20. Use aromatherapy
21. Develop and improve communication skills
22. Relationship counselling
23. Grief counselling
24. Try co-dependency therapy – 12 step programs
25. Stress management
26. Anger management
27. Forgiveness
28. Emotional release therapy
29. Listen to, and follow
30. Time management
31. Stress management
32. Learn how to manage instead of control
33. Define priorities
34. Co-operate or co-create
35. Set goals
36. Problem solving strategies
37. Develop and improve communication skills
38. Clear up debt with a financial budget
39. Write a business plan
40. Organise money, write a financial plan
41. Examine belief systems and attitudes
42. Reframe, rewrite beliefs and attitudes, perspective
43. Dream work, dream recall, recording and dream analysis
44. Hypnosis
45. Move out of comfort zone with small steps
46. Use guided visualisations
47. Use affirmations
48. Visual stimulation
49. Use art therapy
50. Apply colour therapy
51. Study psychologically based works
52. Explore astrology or numerology
53. Explore personality typing and profiling
54. Study the philosophies of Plato, Socrates and others
55. Personal, intuitive or spiritual development
56. Clarify, assess and review personal values
57. Find a coach or mentor
58. Apply win-win attitude
59. Journaling
60. Creative dance
61. Meditate regularly
62. Participate in social support groups
63. Participate in environmental or humanitarian service projects
64. Participate in community projects
65. Rise to the challenge
66. Lead the way forward
67. Dare to be different
68. Commune with nature
69. Complete unfinished business
70. Develop witness state
71. Gain experience
72. Master talent or skill
73. Gain a certification, qualification or degree
74. Read or study spiritually inspiring works
75. Make a choice
76. Pay no attention
77. Keep my word
78. Find my truth
79. Express my truth
80. Follow my dream
81. Trust my instincts
82. Speak up
83. Say nothing – keep it to myself
84. Give permission
85. Negotiate a better deal
86. Compromise
87. Have more faith in myself
88. Strive for interdependence
89. Develop inner resources
90. Co-operate
91. Co-create
92. Stream of consciousness writing
93. Write a letter
94. Eat outdoors
95. Belly dance
96. Ballroom dance
97. Read fairytales and fables
98. Watch comedy movies
99. Attend comedy shows
100. Read limericks
101. Tell stories
102. Read poetry
103. Write poetry
104. Develop spiritual practice or discipline
105. Ski
106. Swim
107. Surf
108. Dive
109. Paint
110. Draw
111. Sing or chant
112. Learn to play music
113. Listen to music
114. Smudge your environment
115. Night walks
116. Celebrate equinox/solstice
117. Purify
118. Create collages
119. Light candles
120. Make a bonfire
121. Shoot arrows
122. Throw boomerangs
123. Fly a kite
124. Go fishing
125. Carve or chop
126. Whittle wood
127. Change your hair style
128. Change your dress style
129. Feast
130. Cook or bake
131. Tie knots
132. Unravel
133. Mend
134. Find a symbol of new status
135. Weave
136. Knit
137. Unveil
138. Exchange gifts
139. Re-cross threshold
140. Join together
141. Wear symbolic clothing
142. Solitude
143. Vigils
144. Make a mask
145. Make vows
146. Wear an exotic mask
147. Period of silence
148. Immerse in water
149. Fast
150. Celibacy
151. Stay in a sacred space
152. Smash
153. Collect
154. Sort
155. Burn
156. Cut or prune
157. Weed the garden
158. Plant trees, herbs, flowers
159. Tear
160. Bury
161. Wash
162. Veil
163. Clean out stuff
164. Clean up
165. Cross a threshold
166. Make a symbolic sacrifice
167. Strip away
168. Build
169. Rebuild
170. Give or donate
171. Recycle
172. Add your other ideas here.

Okay, what happens next?

You’ve chosen who you need to be. And you’ve done something else. Now you can have a go at doing The Thing. If you still can’t do The Thing, then repeat steps 1 and 2. Yes, there is a downside because that’s how life goes. And that’s how you train your brain.

The upside is that you get to do The Thing when you become who you’re meant to be. So, yes, it’s possible that you’ll repeat steps 1 and 2 more than once before you get to do The Thing. And on each repeat, you’ll need to embody a different state of being and choose a different thing to do from the list of something else to do.

You might be inclined to think that all of this is an attempt to justify procrastination or a cover for self doubt. While just doing it can work well for kinaesthetics and extroverts, just being and doing something else, then doing The Thing is another option for deep thinkers and introverts.

Embody who you want to be, do something else, then do the thing you want to do.

Reference

Feldman Barrett, L 2018, How emotions are made: the secret life of the brain, Pan Books, London.