Archetypal Games People Play

Archetypes are patterns of behaviour. They contain themes and stories that have the potential to manifest as games people play in relationships. The storylines within archetypes can influence our behaviour and the dynamics of our relationships. The Child, Victim, Prostitute, and Saboteur archetypes are patterns of behaviour that we all tend to have in common. On top of this, we have at least 3 parties involved in any relationship. You, your partner and the relationship itself. Here’s a snapshot of how each game can play out.

The Game of the Child Archetype

When you constantly seek attention, or avoid taking personal responsibility in your relationship, you are playing the role of the Child archetype by mirroring a childlike dependency. Playing this game creates a dynamic where one partner always plays the parent because the other partner is needy, requires constant attention or supervision, instruction or constant guidance. The risk is that it can lead to imbalances in responsibilities because it encourages dependency.

Another problem is that by playing the parent in a sexual relationship you quickly lose interest in your partner. But you can turn this around. Shift your mindset. You are an adult now. You don’t need to play the role of parent in this type of relationship. Your partner does not need to play the role of the child.

If you find yourself playing the child, some ways to manage this is to parent your inner child instead. Look after yourself by developing and implementing a self care plan.

Discuss how relationships are a team effort between equals. Focus on ways for each partner to consistently demonstrate a sense of personal responsibility, then brainstorm and commit to how this can work in the relationship. The idea is to reduce the likelihood of enabling a sense of victimhood in both parties.

The Game of the Victim Archetype

This game is where a person portrays themselves as helpless as a way to relate, gain pity, or use it as weaponised incompetence. The risk here is that one or both feel victimised. It places the burden on one to rescue the other and gives the other an excuse to remain disempowered or codependent. You can turn this around by naming it. The Victim archetype has entered the room. Call it out. Focus on ways to demonstrate personal agency and personal accountability in your interactions with each other to reduce the likelihood of the relationship deteriorating into the game of the Prostitute archetype.

The Game of the Prostitute Archetype

You will recognise the Prostitute archetype when you find yourself compromising your values and integrity for personal gain or acceptance from others. By playing the Prostitute game, people sacrifice their principles, usually in relationships and situations that involve money. This leads to a lack of authenticity and erosion of trust in relationships and communications. You can turn this one around by identifying your personal ethics, values and principles and then implement them at all times and in all situations without compromise because your personal integrity and honour is always at stake. In your discussions, focus on ways to demonstrate personal honour and personal integrity in your communications with each other.

The Game of the Saboteur Archetype

The Saboteur archetype involves self-destructive behaviors that undermine success or happiness. You can sabotage yourself, others can sabotage you and you can sabotage others. If you haven’t been able to cut through the previous games by now, then things can get really messy. If you haven’t already started relationship counselling, then the time to do it is now.

The Saboteur game is a blend of the Child, Victim and Prostitute games. Playing the Saboteur game as a result, introduces a range of destructive elements, where either or both partners undermine the relationship, intentionally or unintentionally, (depending on each person’s archetypal awareness in their relationship) by sabotaging opportunities for growth and harmony. To turn this around, focus on ways to demonstrate a constructive, lifelong learning mindset toward your partner and the relationship.

In every relationship, no one is immune. At least one or more of these archetypal dynamics tend to create repetitive patterns, that are both constructive and destructive. They’re behaviour patterns with a potential to morph into games people play that influence communication, expectations, and the health of the relationship in a negative or positive way.

Becoming aware of these archetypal stories allows you to recognise and consciously address these patterns, so you develop healthier, more balanced connections in your relationship. Archetypal Awareness and open communication are useful in breaking free from destructive game dynamics. As a result, you place yourself, your partner and the relationship in a position to manifest a more authentic and fulfilling life experience. Together.