Half-hearted Help

The celebrity self-help gurus open up more old wounds than they actually heal. This is necessary because their livelihood depends on it. The only benefit to be drawn from self-help gurus opening up old wounds is that it forces those with emotional and mental health problems to seek professional help from counsellors, psychologists and psychiatrists.   If any healing is achieved, it is indirect and due to the self-help reader’s strong instinct to survive and thrive, and their intelligent decision to seek professional help to ensure this happens.  The remaining readers keep trying to self-heal by reading more self-help books, attending more workshops or seminars, and purchasing more self-help props, trinkets and products. These people are not strong enough to heal on their own. They are not strong enough to seek professional help. The self-help industry knows this and continues to take advantage of these readers and their ability to punish themselves in this manner.

Readers of self-help books should be made aware of what these books and props can really do for them. Self-help books are designed to help you solve ordinary, day to day problems. They can point you in the right direction on your journey of self-discovery, but on their own, self-help books will not heal your life, and neither will the vast array of trinkets, charms and products. To suggest that a self-help guru, book, product or workshop can solve an extraordinary health problem is ludicrous. Many of the props have been cheaply manufactured in third world countries by people who are subject to slave labour working conditions. The celebrity self-help guru’s workshops are their big money earners. They need readers to buy the book and then the products. If they’ve drawn you in far enough by seducing you with these tempting sweeties, then you will go to their workshop, where you will get a temporary dose of massive hype, plus a show bag full of trinkets to keep you going until the following year when they return.  In between workshops, they will publish another book, which avid readers will buy. It’s just enough to keep you going until you meet again.

To claim that self-help books, workshops and products can heal your life borders on liable for those who suffer from life threatening and terminal illnesses. The ability to solve problems and the ability to heal are not the same. If you want to solve a stubborn logistical problem, then you should see a life coach. If you want to heal an emotional or mental health issue, then you should see a counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist.  If you want spiritual healing, then you should start a program of spiritual development. If you have a physical health problem, you can see a doctor or opt for natural medicine, which works best after you have advanced your way through your personal spiritual development program.

A popular definition of madness is to keep doing the same thing while expecting different results. If self-help books, products and workshops worked for their readers, then the industry would be redundant, but the reverse is true. There is an abundant supply of self-help books and workshops on the market.  Many of these books and workshops serve to whitewash emotional and mental health problems and brainwash the reader. One of the most common themes they will push you to swallow is that if you are compassionate then you will be happy.  They suggest that if you have to choose between being kind and being right, then chose being kind, because you will always be right. The only time this should apply is when you want to be first to go through a door but you let the other person go in front of you. Some people push your boundaries too far. They ask too much of you and take advantage of your good nature. In many cases, if you are kind when others are wrong, then your boundaries are being violated. You are glossing over the situation so that you don’t have to take responsibility for standing up for yourself. If you run out of sympathetic ears to listen to you, then it is because those ears still care about you but your attitude is not worth the time and effort it takes them to fight it anymore.

Always be kind over being right? Keep being a doormat. Pushovers and doormats are the celebrity self-help guru’s financial dream come true. They need your friends to reject you and your problems. It keeps them in business.

The need to be right and telling the truth are not the same thing. If you vow to tell the truth and stand up for the truth in every situation, then you will never need to lie, so you will not have cover your tracks. You will never be wrong when you are standing up for the truth. That is the difference between the need to be right and never being wrong. You advocate for the truth at all times.

The truth is, the celebrity self-help gurus, and their workshops and products, are not wholeheartedly designed to help you to help yourself.

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